Ugh

Seriously I don't even know if I'm mad, sad or worried.  Well I guess I'm all three of those...

Mad because he said he didn't or wouldn't but yet he did
Sad because seriously,  what kind of self control is that?
Worried,  well above all I'm worried because I obviously, sincerely and greatly care about him and right now I kinda wish I didn't care so much because I'm over here worried sick and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

He made a choice, a very stupid choice, a choice I don't approve or understand but it was his choice so oh well.

Can I just...

Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh

UGH

UGH UGH

UGH UGH UGH

UGH UGH UGH UGH

UGHHHHH UGHHHHH UGH

Ughhhhh ughhhh ughhhhh ugh

ugh ugH uGH UGH UGHHHH UUGGHHHH

What now

Ever feel like your feelings are so much bigger than your body? Like you can't even contain what you feel because it's that big and intense. I don't even know if I'm more mad than worried. "Sorry babe," he said, because saying sorry makes it all better, right? Because saying sorry makes it ok to go against what you've said. Words mean absolutely nothing when your actions say otherwise.
Why do I keep waiting for him to text me? It's stupid to think that he's going to text me and make it all better,  you know,  say the right thing, but there's no such thing. What can he say to make it better? Nothing,  absolutely nothing.

I don't get it, seriously what's the point? Why!?

UGH.