Ugh

Seriously I don't even know if I'm mad, sad or worried.  Well I guess I'm all three of those...

Mad because he said he didn't or wouldn't but yet he did
Sad because seriously,  what kind of self control is that?
Worried,  well above all I'm worried because I obviously, sincerely and greatly care about him and right now I kinda wish I didn't care so much because I'm over here worried sick and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

He made a choice, a very stupid choice, a choice I don't approve or understand but it was his choice so oh well.

Can I just...

Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh

UGH

UGH UGH

UGH UGH UGH

UGH UGH UGH UGH

UGHHHHH UGHHHHH UGH

Ughhhhh ughhhh ughhhhh ugh

ugh ugH uGH UGH UGHHHH UUGGHHHH

What now

Ever feel like your feelings are so much bigger than your body? Like you can't even contain what you feel because it's that big and intense. I don't even know if I'm more mad than worried. "Sorry babe," he said, because saying sorry makes it all better, right? Because saying sorry makes it ok to go against what you've said. Words mean absolutely nothing when your actions say otherwise.
Why do I keep waiting for him to text me? It's stupid to think that he's going to text me and make it all better,  you know,  say the right thing, but there's no such thing. What can he say to make it better? Nothing,  absolutely nothing.

I don't get it, seriously what's the point? Why!?

UGH.

It's ok not to be ok

I miss you. The mote we talk, the more I want to run back to your arm. I wish things didn't have to be like this.

Breakup

I'm completely destroyed.  My chest literary hurts because of this heart ache. I never intended for this to end this way. I didn't wanted us to end. I opened my blog and I saw a bunch of unpublished posts about him, they were great posts. I poured my heart out in all that writing but it's all gone now. Nothing matters anymore. There's no us anymore. This is not the way it should be. Nothing feels right. We belong together but we're so far away now, I texted him 15 minutes ago , he hasn't replied. I don't know if he's ignoring me or just asleep but it's killing me. How can I ever get used to being without him? I swear this is the worst breakup ever. We didn't want to break up, I didn't want to break up and I really hope he understands that. I hate the way it ended, I know he's hurting just as much as I am and it sucks. I want him to be happy. I would honestly  take all his pain and suffer myself for both of us if I could. I've always wanted to make him happy and today I managed to destroy his heart. It sucks. I wish I didn't have to break up with him. I'm honestly about to cry myself to sleep but it doesn't matter because I've made so many people unhappy today that I probably deserve to feel the way I do.

Yong love

We're young and in love. I don't care if it doesn't make sense or if people think we're too young to know what love is because, we are young and, we are in love, that's what makes our love so pure. I'm sure we know more about love than some adults out there. We care for each other, we appreciate each other, we lean on each other, we need each other and most importantly,  we have each other. I want to share all my special moments with him, fall formal, senior prom, graduation and everything else that's ahead of us. Yes, we made a mistake, probably more than one, but all that proves is that we're not perfect. It doesn't mean we should stop seeing each other and make all those beautiful things we did together just memories or put it all in the past and move on. I want to be with him. I want to be with you babe ♡ you complete me. You're that piece that fits perfectly into my heart. I believe that we're meant to be together. A love like ours doesn't come around every day so I promise you to hold on to this, i'll hold on to us. I won't let you go babe because if I did my heart will ache forever and my head will regret it for eternity. I love you♥

I love you

I love you. Strong words I know, but I have no doubt that I do love you with all my heart. How can I explain it? How an I contain it? Right now, all we have is love. I hate the fact that I ask myself daily if I should be with you or do what my parents want me to do. Why do I have to choose? I want to be with you. I don't regret anything we've lived together. I instantly fell in love with you when we started talking. Everything happened so fast and I gave you everything. I trusted you. I never doubted of you. I gave you my heart, gave you the chance to destroy me completely but instead, you loved me back and brought a smile to my face. That's how I know that you are the one. You are the reason my past relationships never worked out. You are the reason i didn't know what true love was. You are the reason because everything led to you. It led to you so i can have a relationship with you and learn how to love and care for someone outside of my family. And after more than a year, you are like family to me and someday we will make official and live together. Our future is waiting for us, let's face it together. I love you.